Let me start by saying that I love Eddie, my boyfriend’s dog. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, and he’s comical to say the least. I don’t have experience with dogs, and I was always led to believe they were people-pleasers, obedient, and protective. That’s not always the case. Let’s take this in reverse order – protective.

Last week my boyfriend was in his bedroom about ready to go to sleep, when there was a noise in the house. This is where dogs come in handy, right? They bark at the noise to alert you, and then they go investigate. Is that what Eddie did? No. He hid behind my boyfriend like Carol Brady on the Brady Bunch when she’d hear a noise in the house and wake Mike up. To make a long story short, something fell over in the closet, but Eddie had nothing to do with the whole situation.

Now we’re up to obedient. This dog understands everything. He knows every command, every behavior that is forbidden, and how to behave in any situation. Does he? No. He’s an ass in this area too. You have to be really careful around him because he’ll snatch food practically out of your hand. He will only sit/stay if you have a training treat in your hand, or if he can tell that you’re at wit’s end with his behavior. Smart yes, obedient no. And this cat-sized dog can jump onto the kitchen counters silently, so no food can be left up there. He once at the frosting off of a tray of cupcakes, closed the lid, and puked all over the living room from the sugar.

Eddie wants so badly to make dog friends while on a walk. He’s just so friendly and playful. He bows down with his tail wagging, and then when the other dog starts sniffing him, he barks right in its face. At that point they’re like, “Screw you ass!” I keep telling him he’s never going to make any friends if he’s going to bark right in their face because he’s excited.

Lastly, the comedy. This is Eddie’s strong suit. After reading this post, if you made it through, you’ll understand that this whole situation is comical because I don’t really have to deal with it. I just stand back and laugh at it.